“I love being given endless talents which I begin to utilize today “

 

It’s great when you have some sort of a talent and it’s even greater when that talent can provide food on the table. Whichever the case though, we must always remember that first comes discipline, technique and hard work and only after that comes talent. Talent is extremely important but it requires care and nurturing. These are some of the thoughts I have been considering for the past week or so, and they have served me a great deal of inspiration. We often get tired, and we don’t want to run that extra mile, it’s much sweeter to sleep a bit more or to eat a bit more, to go out and see friends or to watch a fun movie, which in itself distracts us from the work that must be done. I have decluttered my head and the space around me which was something I thought would help me go through my wish list of things I want to achieve by the end of this summer. And, it was helpful, but not enough. Only when I realized very consciously that if I didn’t go through with my plans, I would be unable to move forward in my career, regardless of how talented I am, did I get on with my plans.

What inspired me to step on it?

I recently watched an acting class where they talked about “happy accidents”, it’s basically a great performance which for the actor is enriched by emotions and therefore he comes up with tiny gestures that contribute to the character or great pauses, but it’s accidental. I often like rolling like this when I rehearse: I try experiencing the emotions as if for the very first time on the spot, and sometimes I get to that point but it’s a matter of chance. I do not want to be a happy accident and rely on talent alone. I want a technique. Technique is something I have been dreaming of for quite a while but it’s not something a teacher can simply give to me, I have to piece it together myself and find out what works best for me. Acting is far more complicated than it seems- sometimes what you might consider a brilliant performance for professionals is thought of as shallow because the actor hasn’t gone through a process. For example, if an actor enters the stage crying and already in the mood they are supposed to be in, no matter how amazingly well it is done, it’s not something that would be prized by the director/mentor because they don’t actually see how they got to that end point- you don’t see the process. And a process can be difficult, it requires concentration and highly trained sense memory, it requires a great deal of relaxation and physical training as well. What I am striving for is exactly that- a great amount of consciousness and awareness, I want to train my mind and my body. That is a very hard task that may take years of non-stop daily work.

What are the challenges?

I believe this applies for everything, no matter what sort of profession we are talking about, it takes commitment to succeed and grow. I certainly want to grow and I want to make each one of my days a masterpiece and that can be quite wonderful as long as you don’t think of your goals as chores or something you have to do, no, you don’t really have to do it if you don’t want to, but what waits on the other side is good for you probably, if you have chosen it. Many things in life seem frightening, and we have the wrong perception about everything like calories for instance, people think calories are bad and they are not- it’s what gives as fuel to go through the day, they are most definitely our friends. Working out is a game changer: it gives us endorphins and energy; it has tremendous health benefits, but we think it’s annoying or difficult and we don’t want to do it. Fear is also something we instinctively avoid and sometimes that’s good but when that fear has nothing to do with your life or health I suggest you go for it. I always try to challenge myself in that regard, honestly sometimes it works, other times not so well, but I try myself as best as I can and if I get asked to do the things I am afraid of for a performance I will probably do them. I used to be very afraid and very conscious about everything I do but I don’t think that serves me any good besides feeding my fears. It’s in the little things even, for instance, I went to a vacation with my friends this summer by the coast of Black Sea. My friends like extreme things and they would explore the sea floor and jump in the water from the shoulders of one another and do flips, but for me all of those things were a nightmare. I don’t like knowing there are crabs under my feet or any living things at all, I don’t like the fact I can go underwater and have it enter my ears, my eyes and my nose, I most certainly don’t like to try flipping in the air… what if I break something or what if I hurt someone else?! Despite all of those thoughts and feelings, however, I decided to do exactly that. I spent hours in the water, playing volleyball, getting incredibly messy, swallowing salty water (feeling discussed by that), and I jumped and flipped and found very cute shells. And all of that was fun and adventurous and interesting.

Conclusion

Those are all the blockages we must fight in order to work on ourselves and our development. I have been considering two mantras: “Take each day as it comes” and “Make each day your masterpiece” and I think they are both charming but I pick the second one. I want to make something of my days and plan them in a way that I can, not just hope for the better and keep my head down. We may have talents and great gifts but they become useless if we don’t take care of them. It’s silly when you think about it: so you have time to take care of all the stuff you have and watch TV all day long but you don’t have time to explore yourself? Who knows how much more amazing and creatively able you are! Why not invest time in that…in you?

Feeling stressed? Well, stop.

Stress and anxieties are your worst enemies. I will start with that single sentence. Those two conditions can lead to self-doubt, self-sabotage, self-loath; they can lead to arguments with your loved ones, depression and other physical discomforts such as eating less, sleeping less, low energy levels, headaches, stomach aches, or similar.

As a person who had to struggle with depression, I would like to believe I can handle those two emotions that have absolutely no logic, no reason and are not as influential as you may think. We usually give in to stress right away and we start to think very less of ourselves; we find no point in the world. Those are symptoms typical for depressed people and those are feelings the first thing we must do is acknowledge.

Why?

Avoiding our fears and feelings is a bad idea, first of all. By avoiding any discomforts you are not fixing the problem, you are assembling a storage, and every time that storage builds up it explodes and makes everything in your head messy and chaotic. Every single time when I felt afraid to do something or thought I should compromise with myself I experienced nothing but misery and depression.  On the contrary though, every time when I sat straight in front of any danger or any doubt and questioned its presence I would move forward in my life, feeling more confident and stronger. I will give you a very simple example from my life. On my birthday this year, a couple of friends and I decided to take a long night walk on a beach. The water was calm, the air was nice and cool, there were no people around and everything was beautiful and relaxing. Suddenly, a pack of big stray dogs started barking and running towards us. My first instinct was to run for it, but where would we go? We were on an empty beach in the middle of the night with no one around to save us. My friends however sat still and waited for the dogs to approach, then they started calling them gently and it turned out the dogs just wanted to play with us. It’s the same with problems and feelings, isn’t it? You can run as long as you can and let them chase you until you get tired and they eat you alive or you can stop, calmly examine the case and give it a good pat goodbye. In that string of thoughts:

Here are my tips on how to handle stress, anxiety and depression.

1. Always remember this is a temporary feeling over which you have total control. I cured my depression years ago the moment I started to realize those feelings of neuroses, doubts and sadness were merely a condition much like a stomach ache. What do you do when you have a stomach ache? You cure it. You change your daily habits: you rest more, eat well, sleep well and drink a lot of water. You should also remember that this discomfort does not define you, it is not you. Every time I would feel uncomfortable I acknowledged it and I tried to cheer myself up immediately, telling myself there is no logical reason for me to experience these emotions at the present moment in time, making them irrelevant.  Here is the thing, going along with self-doubt clouds our minds. We believe nothing is possible; we think nobody loves or cares about us; all our future goals and plans seem like they don’t matter, which is not true, and we should be intelligent enough to know that. If we believe nothing matters all we do is make ourselves cheap and we often hurt our loved ones with wrong judgment or premature reactions based on fear and stress. That’s irrational, and we are considered to be very rational beings by nature. We shouldn’t try to defeat our nature, this may be the strongest asset we can count on.
2. I have heard many General Managers have a daily routine that allows them to deal with all their responsibilities in a timely manner and to also experience some personal time at the end of the day.  I implemented that to my life. Getting up early was the one thing that made life easier for me during my college training this year. I found out that I had the most energy when I wake up first thing in the morning and I took advantage of that time to deal with important agendas and daily goals. That made my schedule considerably more bearable. And, at the end of the day I made sure I had some time for myself where I could relax in some way, much like a General Manager would do. Just pick something that gives you pleasure and reward yourself with it every night before you go to bed. Not having enough time is one of the main reasons we get stressed or anxious, so planning ahead can be a good way to avoid that.
3. Give yourself time to adjust. I am a hasty girl. I spent 4 years of my life studying something I wasn’t passionate about and dealing with a path that wasn’t mine, thus the moment I was allowed to chase my dream I could not stop myself and I wanted to try everything…. a lot of everything. That’s a tendency I have had for some time, life for me is made out of cycles, If one cycle means I have to study for 10 months I study hard and I concentrate on that, if the next cycle means I have to find a job then I do that the very next day after the first cycle has finished. It’s just constant shifts from one thing into another. Working hard has always been great for me, I feel alive, inspired, I have little time to think about anything else but what I am doing and that brings me comfort, joy and allows me to be practical, but I rarely leave myself a window to adapt to the next task. That stresses me out. Those are things we should notice about ourselves I believe. Any good professional knows their limits. There’s no point to be involved in many things if we can’t give our full attention, not unless we want to be considered average or go crazy because of the pressure. Quality over quantity always!
4. Explore your body. I have to say I am much more aware of my body and mind than I was before and that has a tremendous influence on how I handle myself and my health. Explore where those feelings come from, what happens to your body when you feel anxious, what happens when you first experience fear. I have and I discovered something hilarious. I noticed that when I am tensed or nervous, I stop breathing. It’s weird, but I have noticed my body’s muscles tense up a lot and I forget to take steady breaths, which influences everything about my thoughts and reactions. I am more aware of that now and controlling it helps me feel more relaxed and be in the present moment. Breathe, that’s important! We often fear the unknown, so try to get to know your own skin and mind; you might be surprised of how comfortable and pleasant they can be. I mean… the body was designed that way, wasn’t it….
5. Reach out. Unfortunately, at first I did not have my family close to me to support me in my difficulties, and as a private person I would have never dreamed of bothering my friends or colleagues with with myself. Today I am the exact opposite. I have learnt a lot about empathy in my acting training, and I found out there is no shame in being hurt, or showing your tears to someone. There is no shame in expressing happiness either. We judge ourselves too much; we have expectations and visions on how we look, how we present ourselves, but it’s a paradox- what is the point of seeming strong and healthy when tomorrow the storage room explodes again and you can’t work well or be supportive to anyone else. I may disappoint you with the following sentence but the chances are what you are going through won’t shock anyone. All human beings feel, and we feel pretty much the same way, that’s our weakness. Some people, like actors, singers or artists, have decided to turn that into something really beautiful and graceful rather than hiding it. Take Frida Kahlo who turned her pain into art, J K Rowling who wrote about magic and adventures while being very poor and very distressed in her life, Robin Williams who tried to make all of us laugh because he knew what it meant to be sad and alone. When did we take the only characteristic that defines humanity and threw it away? If we hide ourselves and we don’t signal what we go through, if we don’t feel empathy towards other, can we even call ourselves „human” anymore?

Honestly, I believe love is the best cure, but I don’t just mean love received or given, romantic or not, I mean love for who you are. We are all unique, and we may feel the same things and we may dream the same way but we are different, we think differently and we have different hearts. The point is though we might be important to others, which is a lovely feeling, but we must also be important to ourselves. We should never stop exploring what we have and what we can do, we should never stop believing and defending that which is within us.